Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
