dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
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you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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