is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
