This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
