ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
