How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
