When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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