I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
