It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
