is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
