i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
