So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
