If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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