I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize