I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
