I just pynch a tree in the face
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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