You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
