He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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