nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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