I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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