omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
