The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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