Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
