I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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