i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
