talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
