before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
