Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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