please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
