As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
