Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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