What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
