I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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