Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
