I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The power of my boobs compel you
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize