I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The air was thick with penises
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
