I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
