And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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