can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
