Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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