I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
