Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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