R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
