We won't sleep together?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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