I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
