Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
