did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
