We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
