so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
