So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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