yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
