anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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