Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
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Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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