it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize