Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Its about making memories worth repressing
we made out on top of his cat.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
