why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
