It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
