Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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