saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
