But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
