I must be too annoying 4 u.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
