woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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