We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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