so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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