you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
